i has founds new couples to ship to!!
Never knew KakaIru doujinshi were SWEET!
Never ever THOUGHT IchiIshi would be so huge.
Never dreamed that I would be consuming "detergent"
and "ninjas" (Sarutobi Sasuke's an exception
because of Koyasu Takehito-sama!)
Never knew KakaIru doujinshi were SWEET!
Never ever THOUGHT IchiIshi would be so huge.
Never dreamed that I would be consuming "detergent"
and "ninjas" (Sarutobi Sasuke's an exception
because of Koyasu Takehito-sama!)
It's actually a pain in the ass to draw for me, minor details, angles - ARGHHH MOAR PRACTICE!
Honestly, I'm still feeling hollow. Those words never fail to hurt me. I hope to develop immunity against it though...
Yesterday, I became a complete bitch. I know it's not right to hate people, and I would actually like to say I'm against it, but I'll be contradicting myself. I'm the dog that bites those who help me. Many advise me, but I'm only able to carry out one or two of the points out of a million more. Be confident, let go of the past, get over it, etc. etc. etc.... I never changed. All I do is deflect all help around me. Or be super nice to the person I require for help and then throw them aside like rubbish later on. If that was really my true side, I do very well deserve to die even if I don't want to.
Yesterday, I snapped at the person who was advising me. For few days I treated another person coldly just because I felt like I was disgusted with him. Few days ago, I openly expressed my hostility to a certain asshole (not that I'm regretting it). Few weeks ago, I lost someone dear to me because of the same mistake. There is no excuse for me to be forgiven. I brought everything upon myself. I enjoy pitying myself. I love making myself helpless, as people have molded me unconsciously. I was a scapegoat for abandoned love, if you could even call it love. Really, what am I supposed to look like to people? A dog? I'm sulking again, oh yeah~
I don't expect anyone to be reading. Three hours straight an add maths book sat on my lap, unopened, because the owner was too busy reading manga. Ah... I'm weak, yet I don't even bother lifting a finger to help even myself. I do realize I'm caught in this state for years already. Time moves but the clock that recites my memories is well, frozen all the way back in the past, with more ice accumulating as more bitter events occur. I wonder when will be the day I completely break. I can't say no one cares about me. Maybe it's because I know they're trying to help me, that's why I start to take them for granted, push them around and then, finally, dispose of them from my memory when I'm bored.
Attitude problems yes I have it.
Honestly, I'm still feeling hollow. Those words never fail to hurt me. I hope to develop immunity against it though...
Yesterday, I became a complete bitch. I know it's not right to hate people, and I would actually like to say I'm against it, but I'll be contradicting myself. I'm the dog that bites those who help me. Many advise me, but I'm only able to carry out one or two of the points out of a million more. Be confident, let go of the past, get over it, etc. etc. etc.... I never changed. All I do is deflect all help around me. Or be super nice to the person I require for help and then throw them aside like rubbish later on. If that was really my true side, I do very well deserve to die even if I don't want to.
Yesterday, I snapped at the person who was advising me. For few days I treated another person coldly just because I felt like I was disgusted with him. Few days ago, I openly expressed my hostility to a certain asshole (not that I'm regretting it). Few weeks ago, I lost someone dear to me because of the same mistake. There is no excuse for me to be forgiven. I brought everything upon myself. I enjoy pitying myself. I love making myself helpless, as people have molded me unconsciously. I was a scapegoat for abandoned love, if you could even call it love. Really, what am I supposed to look like to people? A dog? I'm sulking again, oh yeah~
I don't expect anyone to be reading. Three hours straight an add maths book sat on my lap, unopened, because the owner was too busy reading manga. Ah... I'm weak, yet I don't even bother lifting a finger to help even myself. I do realize I'm caught in this state for years already. Time moves but the clock that recites my memories is well, frozen all the way back in the past, with more ice accumulating as more bitter events occur. I wonder when will be the day I completely break. I can't say no one cares about me. Maybe it's because I know they're trying to help me, that's why I start to take them for granted, push them around and then, finally, dispose of them from my memory when I'm bored.
Attitude problems yes I have it.
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