Empty

I often wondered of my worth. I'm not much of a friend but a stranger instead.
I'm pathetic, I'm useless. I can't even remember simple crap. Now, I believe, I just screwed up my friend's sleeping hours again. I don't know what to do anymore, I seriously don't. My future health may be taking a very deep plunge. My future is already darkening. I've let down so many time and time again. I actually ponder on why am I even posting. No one's listening or reading. Not even the ones I would like to try so hard to keep and love. I get so irked by almost anything. I'm restless, I'm so restless. What is this? I constantly feel like I'm being suffocated. My chest is constantly heavy with feelings that can go coal hot or ice cold. I feel like smashing everything I posses now just so I can actually feel how's it like to lose something. Pathetic juvenile thoughts riddle my mind. I'm nothing good, yeah, I know. I've been called a dog, so be it.

How useless can I be? People scorn me because I'm stupid, thank you very much. I've been played around so much by this single person. I no longer know what to call that person as anymore. One moment, she confesses that she can't lie and what do you know! The very next moment, she's lying in your face! I've kept silent on that for a very long time. I'm a cheap container so I break when I'm full of disgust and annoyance. Don't pretend. You know who am I talking about. Oh wait, I doubt you even actually check back on my blog! Wow! Did I discover something new? Hope not!

Aah what am I even saying! I'm lazing around, blogging like I'm gonna live for another thousand years with mountains of work surrounding my shelter. I brought it upon myself now. Loathe me, hate me. I'm lazy. I'm a bitch. I'm a fucking emo. What else? Anything more to add?