Rant 002

Lately, I've come to understand that I'm a person not really liked by others. No, I'm not being emo or anything. Events have came and went in a single blink of an eye. Today, no, maybe even from a long time ago, I lost a friend. It wasn't the first time it happened. It definitely won't be the last either even if I decide to bury the hatchet with her. An incident similar to this happened two years ago. And inevitably, it happens again.


She and I aren't really the best of chums, that I confess. However, I won't go as far as to say that the time spent with her was pure boredom. It leaned very much towards my patience limit. Seriously speaking, it felt as though I was gonna snap at any moment every time she came up to talk to me. I've snapped several times on the brink of insanity. Imagine this situation; someone who comes up to you, talks crap with an ultra high pitch voice while calling you an old grandmother starts shouting at you all of a sudden, threatening to call her mum upon you?

Seriously, GROW UP GOD DAMMIT.

Do you actually think that this dying world revolves around YOU and only YOU? Think again. I may have bowed down to you in the past but I'm not going to do it again. You, who openly admits to getting on good terms with me only for your own benefit, seriously, really, really, obnoxiously annoyingly rip my nerves and still think it's fun. Well, you can call your mum for all I care. You actually THINK I wouldn't argue with her? I'm sorry, my apologetic self was just a mere facade to slip past situations. I may suffer from "brain-lag" but that doesn't really seem to obstruct the feelings pent up in me. I may be like a simple book to read to you but then again, were you with me long enough to completely see through me? Just because I took you as my best friend does not allow you to fool about or step on me like a stepping stone. To you, it may seem like a joke. To me, it's like giving me a knife and a cloth doll to mutilate.

Let's say you, the reader, are unable to comprehend the "emo-ness" in my post. This is my account, my side of the story of the quarrel between she and I.

I'm supposedly one of the editors of our class page in the school magazine (my work compared to the remaining 3 editors may only sum up to a measly 20% but nevermind that). This girl, whom I shall label as B (for obvious reasons I won't mention) to simplify my account.

B sent in 4 (yes, FOUR) photos to be used in her profile column. "Submit your REAL photo" was the silent rule only an idiot / asshole/ insertwordhereplease could break. Her first three photos were of herself. Her LAST photo was what made me snap. Before she submitted, she was bitching about how pretty this character called Hiou Shizuka was. Heads up, B, I am NOT a rabid fangirl of Vampire Knight although I promoted it to you. And guess what, I hate THAT character even more! Sure, she was a pretty, pretty pitiful pureblood. Too bad she got killed Kuran Kaname (the sole reason why I actually trudge along the storyline). Now, don't pelt me with fangirl hatred yet. Back to Hiou Shizuka; I SWEAR that I CAN find characters with better designs / elegance / beauty better than her. You don't start bitching to me about how pretty Shizuka is just because you like her. When I ignore you, you call me gender bias. I'm sorry, I'm straight. I may be a pervert for constantly staring at male characters but I personally think THAT'S better than staring at a character of the same gender. B, you fling lesbo vibes at me. Oh, and don't start ranting about characters from La Corda D'Oro too! You only go after what's superficial.

One may wonder how is it possible to actually love a character for he is non-existant. Even so, that doesn't grant you any brains to tell me you like the character only because he looks hot. Look beyond their looks please! If you wanted seriously hot guys without any proper character, sure, I do have a lot of anime to recomend to you. Sadly, I won't since I can't stand your bitching and ranting. Nothing to boost my ego of thinking I'm a "deep person" whatsoever but you strike me as quite a shallow person too. You give me idiotic questions, I reply with idiotic answers. There you have it, equal trade!

I've drifted pretty far off topic now so let's just recap what actually happened.

B sent in 4 photos, the last one being Hiou Shizuke just because she's so "god damn pretty". B told the editing team to use the 4th photo which the editing team rejected. I told her "Well, if you insist on placing a picture none other than your own, fine. I'll put another picture for you (I mean't I.R. Baboon at this point). Well, B stated throwing her childish ear-piercing tantrums saying "If you dare, I'll call my mum to see the pengetua and do what E did." What E did was see the pengetua to get her entire section in a certain competition removed. Back to the story. When my friend who was also on the editing team came back to class, B instantly turned to her and shouted in Mandarin whilst pointing at me "She thinks I'm scared of her threats!". Whoever the hell said it was a threat. It wasn't even a threat. It was a downright information update on her profile picture. And well, the relation between B and I shattered.

I'm not going to apologize although I'm "morally" meant to. I don't even know why should I apologize to you, B. You triggered my anger. And I'm not going to apologize for something I don't even feel sorry for. I'm not going to lie. Hate me, loathe me for all you want but nothing's going to change. I'm not alone as you first left me two years ago. In fact, I was never alone.