Afterlife?

It sounds silly but I felt happy to see Chris Redfield in the latest Resident Evil movie. Could've expected that he was coming soon since there was Claire in the previous one but damn! It's Chris dammit! Question, do they always try to connect movies to the games? If so, I'd like to know how Chris survived the entire A...rcadia event D: And how on earth did he build all that muscle by RE5... ..... ....

by Myself.

With that said, it should be obvious that I've watched Resident Evil: Afterlife. No, you can NEVER imagine how much I wanted to fangirl upon sighting Chris Redfield. You don't understand. You NEVER will. NEVER!!!!! YOU HEAR ME?! NEVAAAAAAAAAA!!!

The movie was rather nice. The 3-D effects emphasized the blood flying at you whenever Alice shoots something. And that isn't really nice to watch. And that is why I spent almost ten minutes of the movie looking away. Well, I never look away when Chris is there though. This movie made me wonder though : Is Albert Wesker some sort of god? I do hate him, seriously. He needs to stop picking on the Redfields. Especially Chris. I like your shades but I still bloody hate you, Wesker! I hope you seriously stay dead in the game and not revive like some bitch in Afterlife. What? How many times did you revive? First, the helicopter crashes into a mountain and you're alive. Fine. Two, you killed by Alice. Three, you get continuously fired at by the Redfields, aka DEATH. FOUR. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET?! Well, no.4 only applies if they are seriously connecting Afterlife and RE:5. Oh and if that's the case, seriously, no, seriously. TELL ME HOW DID CHRIS GET THOSE delicious steroid MUSCLES! Look, compare Chris in Afterlife and RE:5. Does he look thaaaat buffed in Afterlife? No. He doesn't.

Oh, and FUCK YOU Bennett for shooting Angel Ortiz to death. Seriously. FUCK YOU. YOU REDUCED THE NUMBER OF MEN IN THIS (lol, literally) BLOODY MOVIE!!! FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! And FUCK YOUUUUUU ZOMBIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! You killed the Japanese sniper dudes!! :( And, and, and you bastards tried to chomp onkill Chris :(

Storyline, if I remember correctly.

Alices attack Umbrella Corp in Japan. Wesker blows it up after escaping. The real Alice attacks Wesker on the helicopter/plane, he injects her with antidote that makes her human again. Vehicle crashes. Alice goes to Arcadia six months later and finds it emptehhh! Looks like they've all gone missing! Yay! While Alice looks around, wild Claire attacks Alice! And Claire does not remember shit thanks to that device (the same device on Jill's boobs chest in RE:5) on her chest which apparently causes amnesia. Alice removes that and yayyyy! Nakamaaa!! Lol jk. Alice remains distrustful of Claire until before they crash land the plane.

They head on to LA and spot some (6) survivors on top of a prison! They crash land their cute red plane. They tell other survivors that Arcadia's empty when the survivors think that Alice is from Arcadia. Survivors tell her "it's a ship they're talking about you dumb fuck" that Arcadia's actually a ship and that their broadcasts have ended abruptly two days ago. Alice decides that she must go to Arcadia. Survivors show her around their stronghold and we go downstairs. And then.. and then! ZOMFGWTFBBQROTFLRAWRRRRRRR IT'S CHRIS REDFIELD!!! The other survivors think he's crazy and dangerous though. You eeeeeeeeeediots! After zombies manage to break in, survivors let Chris out and it ish revealed! He ish Claire's brotherrrrrr! Sadly she doesn't remember him as a result of the motherfuckingly stupid drug. He shows them their means of escape, a vehicle used in riots. They need firepower so Chris, Alice and Survivor C head towards the storeroom(?). Survivor C dies around this point so in respect to her, her name is Crystal Claire and Luther stay back to hold the zombies from breaking down the prison gates. BitchBennett, Angel and Kim Yong remain at the garage to open the grills(?). Bennett the Bitch kills Angel after they discover that the engine of the riot vehicle is not inside the vehicle and disassembled. Bitch proceeds to take Kim Yong to Alice's plane and escape to Arcadia ship but Kim Yong doesn't board. Everyone meets up on the rooftop -Claire and Luther were running from the zombies, Alice and Chris, well, running from zombies too.

They escape from the horde thanks to Alice's bravado and use the same route the zombies used to break into the prison (lol, sewers) out. Kim Yong is killed at this point because of the Executioner (a really really huge.. zombie?). Alice and Claire kill it before continuing down the path. Upon reaching, Chris was all like "♥ ♥ ♥Claire, I knew you would make it! ♥ ♥ ♥". Luther "dies" at this point. So yes, the three main characters of your Resident Evil franchise are the only ones alive! They make it to Arcadia via boat because the sewers lead them to the storm drain and uh.. there's a boat somewhere near there? Wasn't paying much attention to what they were saying. I was fangirling Chris.

They learn that the crew abandoned ship on Arcadia and that the passengers/survivors were still on board. The trio proceed to search for them and yes, they find the survivors! But Alice suspects something amiss so she proceeds further and heyyyyyy- Albert Wesker! He wants her DNA because his own body isn't really accepting the T-virus. Or something like that. Meh. So yeah, he wants to use her! Bennett the bitch is here too but he's a useless backstabber so I'm just going to say he died. Wesker holds Alice in pincer attack with his extremely ugly dogs while the Redfields try to take him on. THIS IS WHY I SAY THAT WESKER SHOULD STOP PICKING ON THEMMMMM!!! ESPECIALLY CHRIS!!! Dodging your bloody bullets like how they do in the Matrix ain't earning you cookies, Wesker... I really, really, really don't appreciate you trying to keep Claire and Chris as specimens too. So just die, bitch Wesker. And REMAIN dead. Oh, uhm, you can come back to life once just so the Redfields can blow bullets in your lungs. And then you can die again. And this time, remain dead. But nom you have to come back to life but I guess that's fine since there's RE:5 "because" of that.

The ending. Hm. The ending. Did you see Jill's boobs? Yay? And her harem which required more than four planes to attack the Arcadia ship? You didn't? Oh darn. Oh wait, around that point, you'll see Luther running out from the sewer exit yelling something bout "take that!" to the zombies chasing him. The end. No, the ending ended with Alice, Claire and Chris staring at the planes with the "...... fuck" expression on their faces. Joy to you, Chris!!!! :|



And now. What the fuck did I just write? O_O