rant!

Did my literature exam today in tuition, for my trials to be exact. I don't see much promise of having a proper trials exam for this subject in the school so I just took it "outside". 3 hours of hell, when the proper exam is only 2 hours and 30 minutes. Fucking government can't understand the pains a student feels when we have to write 4 long essays, 4 short essays and 4 short paragraphs in 2 hours 30 minutes. Motherfuckers.


Fell ill yesterday. Lazy germs converted themselves to "i-make-you-sick-desuuuuuuuuu" germs. And now I'm sick. They seriously screwed my plans of doing some last minute revisions for the exam (because I'm an asshole who can't do it earlier). The frustrating part of yesterday is that my mum would NOT use a proper thermometer to check my temperature. I'm burning up inside but she INSISTS that I'm fine. That was JUST fucked up. I slept the entire day away, and another STUPID part was that my mum still WANTS me to sleep at night. Hello? What the fuck?

And I realized my imagination is DYING. Want to know the secret? It's not much of a secret since I think I've said it before. By imagining something I would LIKE my partner to do so that I can write my stories on romantic shit (because I ain't a romanticist), guess what? I see my ex's face and immediately get turned off. Yeah, I catch myself FROWNING. Fortunately there's super ikemen Date Masamune and Katakura Kojuurou [ BASARA ] but I don't wish to let my imaginations run wild with a REAL historical charatcer (Minus the six swords and motorbike horse and maybe the engrish). I' ll let the doujinka do the dirty work and I get the dirty pleasure. Lol, sounds so wrong because it is wrong. So actually, I am FORCED to salvage my pathetic thoughts of romance so beautifully destroyed by idiots who claim their love to me by simply forming a completely fictional character in my head.

I've settled on his hair colour and the eyes (find fault in Nakai Kazuya for this. He voiced Will from Will o' Wisp). The design is clearly taken from the character mentioned. Couldn't help it. It was simply hypnotyzing. Maybe it was caused by the colour combo. Red + aqua eyes. As a bonus's bonus.... Nakai-sama is voicing him. No I do not imagine Nakai-sama's voice. My character, Enterich Sieger, is odd in his own sense, and I have no idea who's behind his voice. But a fantasy will only remain a fantasy. If I were to be honest, there would be no one on this world that would be Enterich Sieger. Ahh... I'm such a sad, lonely fangirl.

Enough with the sick obsession. I'm still feeling ill so I'll just sign off here. Good riddance. I'm just letting a few things off the hook so I don't aggravate any further injuries to myself.