The Last Laugh

19th May

The blood stained phantom of my nightmares… When is he coming for my life? “I can be both your solace and the demon who mocks you. Tell me, who am I to you? Answer and I shall be it.” He often told me the harsh yet kind words… He neither shouted nor spoke harshly to me. His voice was always soft and gentle… He is the distantly familiar voice I failed to remember… Could this be the reason why you are angry, Phantom? Have you developed a deep hatred for me for forgetting you? I never meant to forget…Even as I write; my memories beyond two years fail me. I want to remember you, Phantom… You who always dons the black evening coat and the long walking stick you explained it was a staff… I am selfish Phantom… I want them all… You are everything… Yes… Your voice, your soul, your love… Everything… I want all of it because it’s you…


20th May

You’re crying again, Phantom. I can hear it… I can hear your voice behind the white mask of sinister smiles. I can feel your tears behind the mask…Every time we meet your tears flow… Your tears are like knives stabbing through my heart… It’s not suitable for a man like you to cry, Phantom… Could it be that you’re crying because I have forgotten you? Then let me find you! Let me be the one who wipes away your tears… I’ve caused you so much pain and sorrow until you dread to remove the mask. I’ll come to you, Phantom. After that, you can decide if I’m your friend or foe… My life is yours for the taking… My heart longs for you, Phantom. Even though we cannot meet in flesh and blood… Your kind and gentle soul soothes my heart…

“What nonsense are you sputtering again in your free time? Being the best of the undergraduates does not give you a reason to slack off or write this rubbish! Miss Iris Weller, I demand to see you after class in my office. I will be failing you if you do not turn up.”


Iris Weller slumped back into her favourite sofa in her single winter dormitory room. Snow fell gently onto the grassy field, which slowly turned white. She could hear twigs crackling in the fireplace thus causing her to wince. Earlier in the day, Lady Beige, an old grumpy woman who was a teacher had thrown Iris’s book into the fire. It was the third time this week. Even before the old woman read the book contents, she humiliated and insulted Iris in front of her classmates. Her classmates often taunted Iris of tales of phantoms. To her, it was an ad infinitum routine of life for the souls within Marie Liberty Convent, there was no such things as phantoms.

The girl slumped back into her sofa even more as tears welled in her eyes.

“Why did I have to come to such a place…? Conrad?” she mouthed while tracing the outline of a cushion. The cushion had tiny white snowflake designs surrounding a tiny cottage in the open snowy field on it. Her fingers gently outlined snowflake after snowflake. Despite the inferno in the fireplace, Iris still felt cold. Probably this was why this room was given to her. Many people within the convent grounds disliked her. They often thought her as someone who does not know her place.

Soon, her thoughts drifted back to Conrad Weller, her only remaining relative. He was a distant relative of hers who shared the same surname. Sadly, he did not know much of her past to uncover the mystery of her hidden past. He was once an elite student at the Marie Liberty Academy before it turned into a convent. Now, he was serving directly under the king himself as one of his personal knights. The only reason why Iris was the best of the convent was that Conrad often snuck into her room to give her guidance. He aced both academically and physically. He had the strength and knowledge to fight against an armed magician. Tonight was the promised date for him to tutor her again. Iris was not surprised at all when her window opened from the outside and a shadowy figure jumped in.

“You didn’t tell me you switched rooms again,” the man noted as he slowly closed the window. He then proceeded to remove his black thick trench coat and brushed snow off his boots. Iris scowled but ignored it. It wasn’t her duty to keep the room clean after all. It was the maid’s duty. “I’m amazed at your window lock-picking skills,” Iris replied calmly as she pulled hugged the cushion on her lap. “What’s wrong, Iris? You don’t look happy today. Did Lady Beige do something to you?” Conrad asked worriedly with a tinge of anger in his voice. As he had expected, his cousin nodded her head before looking up at the man with brown hair with crew cut hairstyle. Conrad slammed his fist against the wall. “Damn that woman… Should I request the king to strip her of her post? She’s going overboard…” he fumed. When Iris tugged the cuff of his sleeve and shook her head, as though replying his question, Conrad sighed.

“It’s not really her fault, Conrad. I was writing about the phantom again… It’s my fault,” the girl whispered timidly, her small hands still gripping the sleeve cuff. “Iris…” he called out softly before kneeling in front of her. His hands moved up to stroke the girl’s hair. “You mustn’t let anyone take advantage of you,” he continued as he ran his fingers through her soft hair. “But everyone thinks the Phantom is just a lie I made up!” the girl exclaimed. Conrad shook his head and hugged the girl softly. The girl was a small figure in his arms despite her age. She was sixteen but her body was only the size of a ten winters old child. Conrad on the other hand looked exactly his age. He was twenty-eight and looked like it. He often liked to think her more as a sister than a cousin. Iris was a cute, adorable and clingy sister whom he loved very much.

“Iris, I’ll kill her tomorrow,” he comforted the girl while patting her back. “Knights aren’t meant to kill!” Iris protested thus causing the man to burst into laughter. “Yes we can. I have the authority to do so,” he replied after his laughter died down. Iris sighed in relief and landed a playful punch on his chest, which he did not even bother to dodge. If he dodged, Iris would roll off the sofa and fall flat on her face. There would be a chance where she would injure herself in the process. He did not like the idea of Iris injuring herself. As the girl landed more blows, he started to feel ticklish instead of pain. “I get it! I get you point so calm down, Iris!” Conrad cried out before he lost balance and fell back thus bringing Iris down with him.

All of a sudden, the old grumpy woman barged into Iris’s room. Upon sighting Iris sitting on top of Conrad, her mouth twitched in disgust. It was obvious that Lady Beige could not recognize the knight without his exaggerated armour or uniform. Conrad was currently dressed only in a simple white-collared shirt, black suede pants and knee-length black leather boots. The woman pointed a warning finger at him with a face distorted by disgust. “Explain yourselves, Iris Weller and you-”

”Feel free to address me as Conrad Weller, Lady Beige.”

“Conrad!” Iris hissed while looking at him. She knew he had intentionally given out his full name in proper order. For normal cases, he would simply name himself “Weller Conrad”, thus stirring confusion among the common folk who knew nothing about him.

When Conrad extended his hand to shake Lady Beige’s, she scampered off like a timid mouse. Iris understood the woman’s actions. There was no one in the country that could act as an impostor and name himself a knight with such superior confidence. Conrad had often joked with her to use his name if she ever landed in trouble. He knew very well that no one would dare trouble a knight’s acquaintance, what more his beloved relative?

“Sorry for always troubling you, Conrad…,” Iris apologised as Conrad stood up to close the door. It was the fourth time a teacher had caught them together. “It’s not troubling. You will feel real trouble when a person points his sword at your neck with malicious intentions. Besides, it is a knight’s duty to protect their country’s beloved citizens and help all in need.” He then spun around to face Iris who was sitting on the floor idly and pointed straight at her. “And you, Iris Weller! You are both a citizen and a person in need!” Conrad then proceeded to give her a warm smile that melted her heart. When Iris looked up to smile back at him, Conrad ruffled her hair. Shortly after that, he received a punch right in his stomach. Conrad grunted in pain. He knew that the punch was coming the minute he messed up her hair.

He felt Iris feel around his waist curiously looking up at him suspiciously. “Why are there two sheaths?” she asked while raising an eyebrow. Conrad smiled and withdrew Acciaio, the sword granted to him when the king knighted him. It was a sword only knights were supposed to wield. Acciaio gleamed proudly from the glares of firelight. “Tonight,” Conrad said as he placed a hand on the girl’s shoulder, “We practice sparring.” He then proceeded to draw another sword from the remaining sheath strapped across his waist. It was a wooden sword often used in mock sword fights and practice. “Shall we move out to the field then?” he asked before tossing Acciaio into Iris’s hands. “Let me see how much you’ve improved, my dear cousin, Iris Weller.”

The girl slogged her way to the snowy field. She intentionally dragged her feet on the ground to slow her pace in attempt to annoy Conrad. Unfortunately for her, Conrad was a patient man who did not mind her moving as slow as a sloth. He, too, knew that she was doing it on purpose. He knew very well that she hated sparring sessions. She did not like losing but she lost every single training session she had with him even though he was not serious. ‘If I had been serious, I might kill her unintentionally,” he thought to himself as he turned back to watch his cousin. Surprisingly, she had disappeared from sight. Sighing wearily, Conrad observed his surroundings. He was now in the dormitory hall, a wide room filled with hiding spots. It was a good place to assault people even with the poorest of tactics.

As he had expected, Iris pounced at him from the ceiling chandelier she was holding on. Like an instant reflex, Conrad’s left hand grabbed the wooden sword strapped across his waist and blocked Iris’s attack easily. “It’s too early to assault me, Iris,” he noted as Iris kicked his chest and jumped away. He fell back from the impact, crashing into several wooden chairs thus upsetting them. He growled in annoyance as he leaped from his position and ran towards the sound of footsteps. It was faint but he could hear it clearly. All of a sudden, a burst of cold air hit him. Iris had opened a window and escaped out. It was a reckless thing to do as the hall was on the second story of the building. “Iris!” he yelled after putting his head out of the window. It was freezing cold. The cold stung him even though he was in his thick coat. He broke into cold sweat as soon as he remembered that Iris was not wearing anything that would keep her warm.

Panic surged through the man as he recklessly leaped out of the window and landed perfectly. Snow had begun to fall again. If she were out in the open, the snow would cover her tracks very soon. Conrad got up and scanned the area. Within seconds, he discovered her footsteps and followed it. He sheathed the wooden sword and dashed after the tracks. “Iris! Can you hear me! Iris!” he yelled until he was breathless. He stopped the minute he heard a huge amount of snow falling down and a girl screaming. The sound came from the edge of the forest. It was an area forbidden by the convent. There were many cases of girls getting themselves lost inside. Only few were found alive. The less fortunate ones would be found dead several days later with many types of injuries. As Conrad remembered the cases, he recalled a report given to him several days ago.

It was a report on suspicious groups of people living around the edges of the forest. It was a highly confidential report known by only the knights and the king. Conrad bit his bottom lip and dashed towards the voice. Much to his relief, he found Iris lying face flat on the snow right at the edge of the forest. She clutched Acciaio tightly in her right hand. The man sighed heavily in relief as he sat down next to her. Her navy blue hair was splayed across the snow. “Iris,” he called softly. The young girl immediately glared at him. “I’ll win you next time! I definitely will!” she growled angrily before Conrad lifted her up by the waist. “Next time,” he spoke slowly. “If you set foot near this forest again, I won’t show any mercy in a training session with you,” he continued with a smile on his face. When his cousin tried to kick him again, he extended his arms further and raised her up higher. “Put me down, Conrad!!” she yelled while kicking wildly. The man smiled as he stood up and carried her until they were between the convent dormitory and the forest.

When he finally sensed that Iris was exhausted from her futile attempts to break free, he put her down before seating himself. “You’ve improved in you assault skills, Iris. But you leave far too many openings and trails behind you,” he commented. He parted his lips to ask if she would like a rematch but the look on his cousin’s face already had the answer. Smiling to himself, he motioned to the girl to rest on him while they have a small chat. Iris proceeded to sit next to Conrad and rest her head on his lap like a child. He smiled and stroked her hair gently. “I’m sleepy,” she mumbled. “It’s not good to laze around, Iris,” Conrad remarked as he removed his cloak and covered her.

“Why are you such an ace?” the girl asked Conrad. Upon hearing the question, he laughed softly while swinging the wooden sword around, as though to mock her. Iris twitched at his actions. “Why do I have to learn sword fighting when the other girls don’t need to? Women don’t go for wars don’t they, Conrad?” she whined annoyingly. The man sighed and a cloud of steam appeared. “It’s for defending yourself, Iris. When all the men go to war, the women will be left defenceless in the country. In addition, this skill is an advantage for you if you wish to be ahead of everyone in the dormitory,” he reasoned while playing with her hair. “My investigators have obtained information regarding the Phantom. Be it a tale or fact, you decide,” he continued after some time.

Almost instantly, Conrad could feel weight shifting from his lap. He secretly smiled and stood up. “To get the information, you have to win me,” he said slyly. Iris stood up and jumped back several meters. Acciaio gleamed in the moonlight proudly in the girl’s hand. She had put on a defensive stance. Her cousin smiled and took his time standing up, brushing snow off his coat in the process. “Come whenever you like, Iris Weller!”